Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Self portrait / Growing / Hand


Title: Growing / Hand 2a1


Title: Growing / Hand 2a2

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Monday, January 21, 2008

Growing 3b/2


Title: Growing 3b/2

Saturday, January 19, 2008

My Blueberry Hand postcard

I don't know I am going to send out how many My Blueberry Hand postcards, but anyway, this is the first one:

The 7th day of My Blueberry Hand:


“Hi,

Sending this postcard to you doesn't hope to get back any reply or advice especially if you are not a doctor. Yes, my blueberry hand is still a bit blue but that's fine. Has get the report of the investigation and it's nice. It's nice only means that it eliminates some bad possibilities but not all. I still don't know the reason and if I need to find out, I have to do some more investigations and it sounds so scary.

Blueberry Hand
19 January 2008”

oooooooooooooooooooo

The 12th day of My Blueberry Hand:


"Hi,

The bruise on my Blueberry Hand is still blue but its area has reduced a bit. It looks so ugly.

Up to now, I haven't done anything to my "illness". I remember at the funeral of my uncle, one of my uncles said that he dies so early may be because he had had too many operations and treatments. It sounds cruel but it may be true. We need to do the right things in the right amount at the right time.

At this very moment, I just pretend I am not ill. I look 100% normal except there is only one item in my medical test is adnormal. There are a lot of possible reasons. May be after some risky further investigations, I still cannot find out the reason. May be the immune system of the body can remedy this adnormalty later. Why should I bother too much?

Blueberry H.
24 January 2008”

oooooooooooooooooooo

The 13th day of My Blueberry Hand:

"Hi,

The weather is cold so that I can cover my Blueberry Hand with a glove. That's nice. Sometimes, when you cannot see something, it is easier to pretend it isn't there.

Sometimes, I feel there's a bomb inside my body which may not explode for the rest of my life. Or it may explode anytime. The explosion may be too mild that it won't hurt me or .....

P.S. I am going to have another medical test before Chinese New Year. Hope this one is within the normal range. Also, one more thing I wanna do before CNY is to give my hair some color treatment. This is the kind of treatment that will make me happy though I cannot claim insurance for it.

Blueberry H.
25 January 2008”

oooooooooooooooooooo

The 18th day of My Blueberry Hand:


"Hi,

Unhappiness is easy to accumulate. When I am unhappy, just a little event in daily life can make me even more unhappy. When I am happy, I just let it be.

What causes unhappiness anyway?
Money? Love? Health? Loosing something? Getting something?......
and we claim all these as unfortunate.

We need a balanced life but the point is how to balance it especially for something invisible. We cannot use a weight to measure it.

Just like order an annual dinner, an easier way is to order a set dinner, even so, you have to make a decision between A, B, C, D set. And some how, each set cannot please everyone.

Blueberry H.
30 January 2008”

oooooooooooooooooooo

The 23th day of My Blueberry Hand:


"Hi,

What can I say? My Blueberry Hand is back to normal but the reading in my medical test is still a bit adnormal. It is better but still not within the normal range. My doctor suggest me to have further investigation to find out the reason but I don't want to. Anyway, I'll see another doctor , a specialist, after Chinese New Year but I really I don't want to do further investigation.

Blueberry H.
4 February 2008”

oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 13 March 08

[no picture this time] :p

"Hi,

It's been a long time I haven't write to you. Last Saturday, I've consulted a medical specialist but he just repeated what my doctor has said. He suggested me to do the same further investigation and I said I have to think about it. But in my mind, I have said no.

2 days later, I went to Shenzhen to see a Chinese doctor. Ah! Actually I've seen another Chinese doctor in Hong Kong but he cannot tell what is the cause of my illness. He just prescribed some herbal tea which he said is to stop the bleeding.

The trip to Shenzhen is a breakthrough. The Chinese doctor there can find out the cause of my illness after he investigated my foot. He said it is inherited and he asked me not to eat pig liver, drink more water and not to eat salty food. He also prescribed some herbal tea for me and asked me to take medical test afterwards and see if the medicine works. I hope it works! :) However, cooking the herbal tea is quite a nuisance and the tea is very bitter. -__- Anyway, I'm glad that it is not cancer.

The result will be known by the end of March. Write to you again and let you know it later.

Blueberry H.
13 March 2008”

oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 28 March 08


"Hi,

I've taken the 2 medical reports which are tested on the 7th day and 15th day after taken the Chinese herbal medicine. The progress is very good. ^^ Now, I can consider myself as "recovered". The Chinese doctor in Shenzhen is on a trip now and will be back on 6th April. Therefore, I'll see him later.

Last time, he said that there's a herb which fit my illness very much but he didn't have it in his clicnic. I don't know if he can find some during his trip.

I think I am very lucky to meet him, a very competent Chinese doctor. Otherwise, I still don't know what's wrong with my health and continue to do some unnecessary body check.


Blueberry H.
28 March 2008”

oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 9 April 08

"Hi,

I should have seen the doctor again but his trip has delayed and he has not returned to Shenzhen yet. Therefore, may be I'll see him at the end of this week or next week.

Some more details about the test:

The first test (on the 7th day after taking the herbal tea medicine): chemical examination is positive [+] (it should be negative if it is normal) and microscopic examination has dropped to normal level.

The second test (on the 15th day after taking all the herbal tea medicine): chemical examination has dropped to [trace] and microscopic examination is in normal level.

Before, the chemical examination can be [++] and the microscopic examination can be 10 times above the normal level.

Blueberry H.
9 April 2008”


oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 14 April 08

"Hi,

Yesterday, I have seen the doctor again and he has prescribed some more herbal tea medicine for me. He told me to take another medical test after all the medicine is taken.

I don't know how long will it take to recover totally. But I have improved lot after taking his medicine. Therefore, I trust him.

Blueberry H.
14 April 2008”

oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 26 April 08

"Hi,

Too bad. I have a cold these days and it affects the result of the medical test taken the day before yesterday. The result is as bad as the worst one before.

I have seen the doctor in Shenzhen today and he has prescribed some herbal tea with stronger dose. I said the previous one is very bitter and he said this one is even more bitter -_- but he suggests that I can add some honey to it. ^^

Blueberry H.
26 April 2008”

oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 30 April 08



"Hi,

This is the very bitter herbal medicine and the candy I eat after taking the medicine. I used to eat a piece of preserved prune before but the medicine is so bitter that the prune doesn't work. -__-

Blueberry H.
30 April 2008”

oooooooooooooooo

My Blueberry Hand - 24 May 08

"Hi,

Good news! The recent medical test has improved a lot and the doctor says that if the medical tests keep on improving for two to three times, I don't need to take the medicine anymore. Yeah! :)

Blueberry H.
24 May 2008”

Thursday, January 17, 2008

藍莓之手 My Blueberry Hand

一月十二日,星期六,晴,心情卻是陰,我的右手多了兩塊圓型藥水膠布;

於是,為了平衡內心的陰天,本打算在睛朗的藍天下,為右手影輯相片留念,但當有空的時候,太陽已下了山;

於是,那輯相沒有陽光;

於是,又多一幅以右手為創作元素的自畫像:



Title: Growing / Hand 1a/3

希望我的左手不會說我偏心。

oooooooooooooooooo

為了安撫左手,所以加上以下鳴謝:

右手的相片是由左手獨力攝影的,特此鳴謝;以示公平,下次醫生打針,我會叫他打左手。


我開始覺得自己有點像行為藝術家了。:p

oooooooooooooooooo

這幅畫除了可以叫做「Growing / Hand 1a/3」(多長多煩氣的名字),還可以叫做「藍莓之手」,除了構圖和「藍莓之夜」的電影海報有點相似,我的右手到現在還有藍藍瘀瘀的一片。

以下是「藍莓之手」的設計對白:

女主角望著英俊的男主角:「告訴我,我的右手究竟做錯了什麼?」

男主角:「它什麼也沒做錯,只是醫生每天都會為很多手打針,而剛巧今天是你的右手。」

女主角:「那麼?我為甚麼要讓我的右手被打針?」

男主角:「嗯?很多事也有很多原因的,有必要知道原因嗎?」

然後,他情深款款地望著女主角;
然後,她低頭望著她的藍莓之手;
再然後,是out of focus的藍莓之手加浪漫音樂背景。


是啊!男主角只要是英俊加情深款款的眼神便可以了,東方的版本是梁朝偉,現在西方的版本是Jude Law。

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Sometimes ...

Sometimes, growing is painful.
Sometimes, raining is awful.
Sometimes, I don' t know how to heal my sorrow,
so I just blame or sing or kick something.
Hoping someone God-like can sense my feeling.
The truth is
aimless action never yield a word that blinks
and my soul is still wondering...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

非典進食中的無言父子

某天在麥記吃早餐及午餐的混合餐,因為時間是早上十一時多,忽然聽到「砰」的一聲,是附近的一張空椅子向後翻下來所發出的聲音,椅子對面的座位坐著一位約六、七歲的男孩,他旁邊有位男士,相信是他的父親。

雖然我沒有看到椅子是怎麼樣翻下來的,但相信是男孩用腳把它踢下來的,因為那張檯只坐了他們兩父子,附近也沒有其他人;奇怪的是,椅子翻下後,男孩和父親都沒有即時起身把椅子放回原處,他們之間也完全沒有交談過。

過了一些時間,約30秒吧,那父親起身把椅子放回原位,之後返回他原來的座位,但一直都沒有和他的兒子談話。

再過了一段時間,大概是吃完檯上的食物吧,那父親獨自站起身行了兩步,然後回頭望望兒子,於是男孩才起身跟他走,當中也是沒有半句話的。

我不知道他們當時是否正在鬥氣,也不知道男孩踢翻椅子是無心還是刻意,但如果他們平時也是這樣溝通的話,真不敢想像這孩子長大後的價值觀會是怎麼樣?

如果在公眾地方打罵兒女的父母是一種典型,這對父子便是另一個極端的典型;可是,非典型也未必比典型好的,至少肺炎如是。

吃完了檯上的食物,我也弄不清楚自己是吃了早餐還是午餐?一頓非典型進食活動?

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Self portrait / Growing 3d/3


Title: Self portrait / Growing 3d/3

Friday, January 11, 2008

要吞十六粒藥丸 @.@

因為曾經試過食物敏感,所以今晚和明早要合共吞十六粒抗敏感藥丸,然後才可以照腎。十六粒! @.@

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

依然幸運?

995比5大很多很多的,對嗎?對!

98.2%比1.8%大很多很多的,對嗎?對!

那麼,我依然幸運,對嗎?對!

oooooooooooooooooooo

昨晚去了銅鑼灣一間比較大的書店,在其醫藥分類的書架前打書釘,其中一本書是這樣說的,根據一項統計,像我這樣的情況,1000個人當中有5個是癌症,而在未來三年中發展成嚴重疾病的有1.8%。

平時有幸運抽獎也很少抽中我的,六合彩也只會中三個字;希望這個也不會中吧!

可是(touch wood)萬一真的....,還是快點把喜歡做的事情做完,包括未寫完的小說、第一個畫展(希望不是最後一個)......

oooooooooooooooooooo

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

唔開心

08雖然只過了幾天,可是唔開心的事情卻多的是。

08唔開心事件:
1. 家中總是有人無理取鬧。
2. 上星期又去驗身,是自去年以來的第三次,昨天問了報告,醫生叫我去照腎;但我還未作決定,我知道我只是想逃避現實。
3. Lazer Printer 壞了,老是顯示著「paper jam」的警告,但機裡面根本沒有jam紙,甚麼都印不到了。

Monday, January 7, 2008

Growing 3b/1



Title: Growing 3b/1

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Growing 5a/6


Title: Growing 5a/6

Friday, January 4, 2008

2008 is a girl

If 2008 was a person, she was a girl.....

.......with a pony tail!

plus drowsy eyes ~~~

如果2008是個「人」,她是個女孩。:p

Thursday, January 3, 2008

《香港製造》中的共鳴 + 愛鳥情意結



《香港製造》是集七位本地藝術家的當代藝術展,當中個人偏愛甘志強及萬青屴的作品。

以雀仔為主題,甘志強的作品是很有創意的裝置藝術,帶點童真。在都市的鳥籠裡,鳥兒在尋找飛翔的空間;於我而言,此blog也許是一個飛翔的空間,其他空間?仍在尋尋覓覓中;就像他的作品中的鳥籠頭小人兒,到處走走看看。

因為喜歡鳥兒,鳥兒的相片及相關文章常常在此blog中出現,而從上月某天開始,在畫作的簽名旁,還加了一隻小鳥。

欣賞萬青屴的作品,是當中的幽默感,畫的風格是傳統的水墨畫,但表達方式是在畫旁加上有故事性的文字,而且題材生活化,這表達方式,使我不期然想到《O人O語》一書中的寵物篇及昆蟲篇,以及此blog內的一些文章;是因為形式相近,所以喜歡嗎?也許吧。在展覽場刊中,被問到「你認為甚麼是藝術(家)?」他的答案是「傻人中間比較更傻一些的人」,連這句也令我很有共鳴。

此外,余偉達的石硤尾屋邨黑白照給我很強的感覺,寫實之中又有種抽離的冷;場刊中有一欄:「作品被收藏的機構」,他很幽默地填上「等待香港藝術館收藏」。我想,我的志向比較遠大些,我會等待世界各大藝術館的收藏,反正「等待」是不費力的。XD (話雖如此,還是會積極「等待」的,並不是等運到那種。)

香港製造 - 當代藝術展
21.12.2007 - 6.4.2008
香港藝術館

ooooooooooooooooooo

此blog中和烏兒有關的文章:
窗外
[snap shot] A bird standing on a lamp post
[轉載] 究竟天有幾高
Vision

ooooooooooooooooooo

我雖然喜歡鳥兒,卻不喜歡把鳥兒困在雀籠內,以下節錄自《O人O語》一書:


O人O鳥


(這幅畫已是05年畫的了,時間過得真快。)


我是一隻O鳥,
O去東又O去西,
O人不是我的主人,
他說鳥兒是應該屬於天空的,
困在籠中不能O的鳥是人的罪過,
他祇會拿起望遠鏡,
望著我O來O去、O高O低,
他真是一個O人。

O and O bird
I'm an O bird,
O'ing east and O'ing west.
O is not my master.
He believes that bird belongs to the sky.
A bird in a cage who cannot O is the sin of man.
He enjoys viewing me through a telescope.
Watching me O'ing here and O'ing there,
O'ing high and O'ing low.
He is really ...... O!

在構思《O人O語》續集時,也是有些飛翔的畫面;可是續集在短期內也不會出版的了。出版不了的書,與困著的鳥,多少有點相同。XD

ooooooooooooooooooo

忽然想起 Simon and Garfunkel 的 El Condor Pasa,便以這首歌作結吧:


El Condor Pasa
by Simon and Garfunkel

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound
Its saddest sound

I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

星星下的一片亂



為甚麼風只吹動頭髮,卻吹不動背後的星星串?

想起某年的無線台慶,眾藝員及舞蹈員站在無線大廈門外,因為風大,把各人的頭髮吹得很亂,有點狼狽,唯獨是汪明荃小姐的髮型,絲亳也沒有被吹動,真是個奇景。

孫子兵法也有說:「敵不動,我不動」;但如何才可以做到反物理現像:「風動,髮不動」!

oooooooooooooooooooo

大星小星懸空中
有風沒風也不動
年始年終溢時空
有悲有喜在心中
沒完沒了瑣碎事
欲動不動仍需動
是心是髮還是風
茫茫星海凡塵夢
縷縷髮絲輕飄送
無聲無息掩面容
偶爾瀟灑偶爾瘋
冬去春來可會懂
明年可會又相同
再見星星再見夢
幸有耳語幸有寵
迴旋段段詩意中

- 寫於07年年尾